Client demanding I make revisions today, on Thanksgiving even though they said they won't be available until Monday because they are out of town for Thanksgiving. What?!

After signing a contract agreeing that all comps would have a watermark on them, only to be removed after final payment, my client just sent me a nasty email saying he would find another illustrator if I didn't take off the watermark on the first version I sent. So much for contracts?

I just hung up with a client who kept saying, "Just stretch it!" (in regards to text placement). And, I said, "You mean space it out?" He replied, "No! Streeetch it... like make the letters wider, but not taller!" He was so offended when I said, "Uh... no!" (YOU KNOW WHAT I REALLY WANTED TO SAY!!!)

"We need a full e-commerce site that looks awesome and is easily updatable. We've got a pretty big budget for it. Please try to keep everything under $600"

did a design for a client, client printed the design however the printer screwed up the screen so had to create a new screen and charged my client. i was blamed...?

Just received what were supposed to be print-ready files from a client. 72 dpi - 300px by 300px. Tiiiiiny!

How about clients that stop responding to emails and phone calls once you send them an invoice? Seems to happen a lot lately. I've even had one blame the economy! Uggghhh.

OMG bleeding cowboy!!!

One word. Papyrus.